Monday, October 20, 2008

Monday, October 20.....Trust Me




We have had the scans. What a long day. Now we wait. And pray! And trust! All day I have sensed the Lord asking me to trust Him. It made me nervous. I kept wondering why the need to confirm my trust?

CJ was sad on the way to the hospital this morning. With a little probing we were able to determine he was struggling with how much he has changed physically. CJ walked past a mirror early this morning and said softly, "That doesn't even look like me." My heart squeezed in anguish for him. I immediately felt sorry because I had been struggling with how much he has been changing physically and the effect it was having on me, but not even thinking about how it was affecting him..........conviction, confession and then the sweetness of forgiveness washed over me. Thank you Lord! We reminded him that "The Lord does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart." That seemed to relieve his struggle for the time.

He also revealed that he was nervous about the scans and wondering why he had to go through so many tests again and again. Chris began praying for him as we drove. Chris's voice soothed me as he began praying for CJ's strength and thanking God for the medicines He has provided for our sons healing. He asked God to show favor and wisdom to anyone who so much as looks at or touches CJ's file or comes across CJ's case for any reason. His prayers renewed my strength and I began to pray that the tests would run smoothly and that He would even show us favor in timing and scheduling and allow things to move quickly so CJ would not have to wait and be nervous for long periods of time. I asked God to equip the nurses and technicians and show them favor as they treated CJ. After we prayed we encouraged CJ with examples of those God allowed to face trials in order to prepare them for His work. We reminded him of David and how he faced a lion and a bear while out in the pasture tending to his sheep. We sometimes forget to think of these people as real life people experiencing real life fear. I guarantee you David was scared! But he persevered and that trial built his strength, character and trust in God. All those trials were used to prepare him for the day he would stand before a giant, with just a sling and a stone. David would never have had the courage to stand before Goliath, had he not already faced a lion and a bear and learned to trust his God.

We arrived at the hospital and were sent upstairs where we immediately found out that CJ needed either and IV or to access his port to administer the contrast for the CT Scan. This was disappointment number one because we did not expect this and did not put the numbing creme on CJ beforehand. CJ was grieved and began to cry. We chose to access the port thinking it would be less painful and the lady offered to use a spray to numb it. (Do you know that feeling when you know things are going wrong but you can't put your finger on it? That is how we felt the whole time she was getting ready to access him.) The spray she used began to burn him as the needle pushed through. Then things went from bad to worse. The nurse used the wrong size needle and could not get the port to flush properly and could not get a blood return. She had to remove the needle and send us downstairs to pediatric ambulatory to try to access his port there. I could feel my frustration and disappointment growing. I kept trying to stuff it down as we entered the elevator. "Who are you disappointed with Dawn? " I didn't answer. Stuff it down. Ignore it. Again...... "Who are disappointed with, Dawn?" "This isn't a good time Lord. I am in an elevator, we'll talk later." Again......."Who are disappointed with, Dawn? The nurse or Me?" I like to avoid answering a question by asking a question, and I knew He already knew Who I was disappointed with, so I said it......"Is this what you call favor, Lord?" I immediately regretted it of course. But there it was; the condition of my heart........conviction, confession, and the sweetness of forgiveness wash over me.
"I'm sorry Lord, I just don't understand."
"Trust me!"

So we get to pediatric ambulatory, apply the numbing creme and wait 45 minutes for it to take effect. Sadness still seemed to loom over CJ and I so desperately wanted to take it away or make him laugh or forget, but I knew he would have to allow God to tend to his heart just as I was allowing Him to tend to mine. Chris and I know we can only lead him to the cross and then stand back and pray he kneels down and receives. It's so hard to watch your child struggle to find peace in their distress and it is tempting to want to offer peace through other means. But that would not be lasting peace so we waited and prayed for him and all the while I knew he was having his own 'discussion' with the Lord. Finally, it came. And slowly his spirits lifted and so did his countenance. It is kind of like when the sun peeks through on a cloudy day and you feel the warmth of its rays. I felt the warmth of God's love for my son in that moment. I thanked God for it.

We reaccessed the port and once again the nurse still could not get a blood return.
"Lord please! Help us. Show us favor. Don't allow this port to go bad so soon."
" Trust me! My ways are not your ways!"
"I can see that, Lord"
Then nurse tries again and again. She remains calm and positive and I am feeding off her steadiness and her resolve. But still no blood return. Then she says, "We are going to put some heparin in the port, wait five minutes and pray!" I felt peace as soon as she said it. She did all she could do and then saw prayer as the ultimate answer. So pray we did. Then Chris says, "I am glad we chose the port or we would not have know it was blocked." And I begin to see the bigger picture. That is when it hits me.....this whole delay, all the complications, all the mishaps could be for CJ's benefit. This is God's favor! I tell CJ, "Maybe God is showing us favor by allowing all these delays so we can have the best care, nurses and technicians." And then the peace comes....with the trust! And of course, God tests it immediately.
The nurse comes back and flushes it again, and again and again...no blood return..... "Please Lord! I trust you no matter what!" Again and again and again, no blood. Again and again and then finally we had blood return. I have never been so happy at the sight of blood in my life!

CJ remained peaceful the rest of the day. He got the CT scans and the Pet scans. He even ended up having to get an IV anyway and handled the dissappointment and the pain perfectly.
We waited a lot and and we prayed a lot. We prayed for clear scans even as he was getting them.
I still sensed God asking me to trust Him no matter what the results of the scans.

So we wait, we pray, and we trust.
Please wait and pray with us and remind us to trust!

CJ is here with me and wants to finish off this post....

My mom told you I was having a hard time with losing my hair. To tell you the truth I had a hard time getting a hair cut even before I had cancer. When I first heard I might lose my hair I did not really think much about it. And it didn't happen right away so I didn't worry. I started to think more about it a little at a time and then I started to see my hair falling out it more and more. It made me feel depressed at first. I cried and worried what i would look like. I saw lots of bald kids at the hospital and it was hard to think I would soon look like that. Then one day I was taking a bath and I saw a lot of hair in the tub. That is when I decided to cut it. I told my mom I wanted to attack the enemy before the enemy attacks me. This made me feel strong because I was doing something about it. I got a mohawk at first for fun. How often does your mom let you run around in a mohawk? But I still kept seeing it fall out from the mohawk so I cut that too. Now I just have a military style buzz cut. I know this will fall out too one day but I also know it will grow back one day.

I told my mom this morning that I did not recognize myself in the mirror. But then she said look again at your eyes. So I looked at my eyes and I could see me and when I smiled and saw my teeth I could recognize me. So that is how you will recognize me. By my eyes and my smile. Cancer might steel my hair but it can't steel my smile.

Thank you for praying for me and my family. When I read the comments I am happy so many people are praying and reading my story but there is a more important story I would like you to read and I will get as many shots, scans and anything else that comes to get you to read it. It is the story of Jesus. You can find it in the Bible and if not I can tell it to you.

Love,
CJ




36 comments:

Heather said...

CJ
I love your new "military style buzz cut". It is fitting. You know why? You are in a military...you are one of God's soldiers! You CJ are recruiting soldiers for God, & the soldiers that are already in God's army, your making them want to be better soldiers. You CJ have shown us that you have the Armor of God on, which helps you to be strong and brave, trusting & faithful. Thank you for opening my eyes and making me want to be " a better solider".
Thank you for being YOU. YOU are teaching us all so very much.
I love you so much
Your "battle buddy" in Christ
Aunt Heather

Ephesians 6:10-20

Alibrandi said...

WOW Cj! You are so strong and caring for others even in hard times!
Keep trusting in God and I will be trusting in Him as well!
I love you very much buddy stand strong!
Sissy

Heather said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

CJ,
WOW! I like what your Aunt Heather wrote, because it's so totally true - you really ARE a soldier for Christ! Here you are witnessing about Jesus when it would be OK to just think about yourself right now. But not you, CJ, because you know you belong to Jesus, and you know He's your commander in every battle, including this one. You march for Jesus, don't you, CJ! It reminds me of an old song that was written for and sung by Sunday School children marching down the street with their church to celebrate Pentecost. Since the song was written, it has been used many times in history by very famous Christian men in battle, and I want to use it for you now even though some of the words sound really old, since you are a soldier for Christ! This song is for you today!

Onward Christian Soldier,
Marching as to war,
With the cross of Jesus
Going on before!
Christ, the royal Master,
Leads against the foe;
Forward into battle,
See your banner go!

At the sign of triumph,
Satan's host doth flee,
On, then, Christian soldier,
On to victory!
Hell's foundations quiver,
At the shout of praise;
Brothers life your voices,
Loud your anthems raise!

Onward Christian soldier,
Marching as to war,
With the cross of Jesus
Going on before!

I love you CJ - soooo much! You make us all want to be soldiers for Christ with you! Hallelujah!
Love, Aunt Karen
Matthew 16:18

Maureen said...

CJ,
Your right, the cancer can't take away your smile or those big beautiful brown eyes! Thank you CJ for continuing to bless us with your faith and love for Jesus. Even through the not so good days you, mommie, daddie and Allie still give God the glory and that's not always so easy to do. Aunt Heather's message reminded me of an old hymn called "Onward Christian Soldiers" -this is the first verse, there are several.

"Onward, Christian soldiers, marching as to war,
With the cross of Jesus going on before.
Christ, the royal Master, leads against the foe;
Forward into battle see His banners go!"

You are a brave soldier CJ fighting the fight and you're reminding us to be soldiers for God while letting "Christ the Royal Master" lead against the foe.
I Love you CJ
Aunt Mo

Wilma said...

Hi Cj, Dawn and Cris, although I haven't posted any comments lately, I have been reading your journey through the "blog", thank you so much for allowing us to share in your lives. I'm amazed at the courage and trust in God that you have. I will continue to keep you in my heart and prayers for your continued trust in God and in His strength. Wilma

Anonymous said...

Dawn and CJ,

I am blown away by your willingness to go through so many trials for our salvation, learning, and growth. I am so sorry, truly, that it takes such severe circumstances to get some of us to learn. I couldn't sleep well last night because I had petty thoughts running through my head. Believe it or not, I am ashamed to say that I was stressing out over a vacation we are about to take. I told myself to stop but my mind kept going. Overthinking a vacation, crazy right? Let me tell you what I have learned. Thinking can be very bad if you are not thinking about God. Actually, any thinking that is not of God is bad! So thank you once again for pulling me in and putting things into a Godly perspective. CJ my heart aches for you. And yes your appearance has changed and so has many hearts! Just as my heart is changing I have witnessed some close family members hearts change too! You are absolutely adorable, still, by the way, more so!

I love you buddy!

Aunt Jackie

Break the Mold said...

Jackie,

Your comment brought two verses to mind immediately I wanted to share with you that have helped me when my mind wants to become a battlefield.
This can be because of thoughts that set themself up against the true knowledge of God like doubt, lies, fears. Or it can be when our thoughts are a constant distraction from dwelling on Christ like you mentioned.

2 Cor 10:5 "We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ."
That is what I had to do yesterday when my thoughts wanted to blame God for not "coming through" for me. In most cases I take those thoughts captive by speaking truth over the lie and the thoughts flee from the truth of Gods word. Sometimes, like in the case that I shared in this post, I delay in speaking the truth and I listen to the lie. God knows what a disaster I would be if left all day like that so He lovingly persisted and made me say what I was thinking so I could hear the foollishness of my own heart and mind.

The other verse is a real help when I think thoughts that don't edify or glorify God or are just a waste of time and energy that could be poured into prayer and meditation on scripture.

Phil 4:8 "Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever us admirable-if anything is excellent or praiseworthy-think about such things."
This is great because whenever you sense that happening you can just say to yourself with a little sass, "Whatever!" There is even a hand signal for this. Hold up 3 fingers for the W, then flip them side ways for the E. I do this right in front of my own face as I say "Whatever!" Be careful though, you would not believe the looks you will get when you add hand signals to talking to yourself. Bystanders think that is just too much! Oh well, this is a battle for my mind here, I can't worry about how what they think too!

I love you little sister and I am very proud of you. Thank you for being so open with us about how God is working in your life through all of this. It has blessed our family immensely!
Your sister in flesh and spirit,
Dawn

Anonymous said...

WOW!!! I LOVE THIS BLOG!!! I HAVE BEEN SINGING "ONWARD CHRISTIAN SOLDIERS" ALL MORNING I HAVEN'T HEARD OR THOUGHT ABOUT THIS SONG SINCE I WAS A LITTLE GIRL!! THANK-YOU, THANK YOU!! AND NOT TO MENTION THAT MY VOICE STILL SOUNDS LIKE I AM A LITTLE GIRL!! I HAVE A HORRIBLE VOICE BUT I WAS BLURTING THIS SONG OUT LIKE I WAS A SUPERSTAR!!!!! YOU ARE A BRAVE BOY CJ AND I AM SO VERY PROUD OF YOU! STAY STRONG AND KNOW YOU HAVE MANY PEOPLE PRAYING AND ON YOUR SIDE. LOVE ALWAYS XOXOX PAM

faith2pray said...

You look great CJ! But you're right- greater is the story of our Savior who lives in us because he died for us! Keep smiling and praise him for ALL his faithfulness and strength. There is no one like our GOD!!!

Tammi said...

Dear CJ,
I love you and I trust your eyes and trust your smile. I trust God and Jesus, too. I miss you a lot and I want to tell you a story about your hair that I remember from when you got your First real hair cut when you were a little boy. Do you remember that when you were a baby you had really curly hair? (Everybody remembers that right!?) Well, one day I came over to visit you and your sister Alibrandi and I didn't know it, but that afternoon you had gotten your first real hair cut and all of your baby curls were gone and I was so surprised that I bent down to your little face and head and I started to cry a little bit and your Mommy started to smile and laugh a little and then you, CJ, in all of your sweetness and adorableness, put your little arms around my neck and said, "Don't worry Aunt Tammi, it didn't hurrwwt!" I think because you thought that I thought getting your hair "cut" might have "hurt" your head, but I was just so suprised that all your little baby curls were gone and you looked like a big boy instead of a baby boy, but all you cared about was me, as usual! I love you so, so much CJ. I pray for you every morning and every night. I promise. You are an angel.
I love you,
Aunt Tammi

Tammi said...

Dear CJ:
P.S. You have your Mommy's eyes, by the way. GOD gave you your Mommy's eyes you know.
Love Aunt Tammi

Enzo said...

Dawn, Chris, CJ

Oh what a day!! I felt bad yesterday when I knew you had a hard time but this morning the tears came when I read everything. CJ, you are so brave, so caring and so amazing. Your Mom is 100% correct about your smile and your eyes. Your heart can't be touched and if anything it is stronger now than ever. In a few months you will look like your old self again too. I can't believe how you are willing to suffer to teach people about Jesus. Even Peter denied Jesus 3 times fearing for his own safety and well being. Not my CJ. Maybe when you played basketball you didn't score all the baskets, maybe when you played baseball you didn't hit home runs, maybe when you played football you didn't score all the touchdowns but when it comes to standing up for what's right, taking everything that is thrown at you and trying to figure out how to teach about Jesus through all of this you are probably God's Most Valuable Player of the year.

Proudest Grandma in the World

Anonymous said...

C.J, it's so good to see you posting on the blog, what you said was profound. I was stunned that a nine year old would be saying this, but then I remembered that God uses the weak in this world to shame the strong. You may be weak, but God is using you in so many ways, to draw others closer to Him. I love what you said at the end of the post, that there is a more important story. Wow, what humility, in a blog were the posts and comments are for you, you post about God, and others. Thank you for doing that, it is such an example to me. I love you and miss you so much. I will continue to pray for healing, and for courage.

Joseph

Staff said...

CJ;
My hair has been everything from shoulder length to military cut, however I remember the time I buzzed it and really got in trouble with my own mom. I just wasn't thinking that my parents might want me to have at lease some hair for my college graduation pictures, pretty dumb on my part! The main problem was that my head isn't one of those nice looking clean heads you see around church (the Aviles men, Mr. Mora, mr. Gavilan etc.)I was more of the lumpy potatoe type.

From the pictures of your mohawk, God has truly blessed you with one of those "nice heads" that I lack and you are in very good company with the "blessed heads" around us. Way to go in taking the offensive and having a little fun with the cut. You didn't even get in trouble! We love you brother and have so much respect for the way you are leaning on the Lord. You encoruage my whole family. God bless! Mr. Abegg for the whole family.

Kevin, said...

CJ;
My hair has been everything from shoulder length hippie to peach fuzz, but I do distinctly remember the one time I really got in trouble for an extreme buzz cut I did to myself. I just didn’t factor in that my parents would want me to actually have some hair for my college graduation pix! Dumb move on my part, but the shock value from my relatives made it all worth it! (Just don't ask my mom about it). The problem wasn’t necessarily that I didn’t have any hair, but more that I don’t have one of those nicely shaped heads you see around the church (The Avilas men, Mr. Mora, Mr. Gavilan etc…) I’m more like lumpy potato head from too much head banging as a kid! From the Mohawk pictures I see that you are in the good company of these godly men at church who are blessed with a head to be proud of. Way to go in taking the offensive and having some fun at the same time! Unlike me, you didn't even get in trouble!
CJ, the way you are leaning on the Lord in this time is an encouragement to my whole family. We love you brother and continue to pray for you many times a day. God bless!
Mr. Abegg for the whole family.

David Bush said...

CJ,

I love the new cut, but I must say I'm a little sad to see the mohawk go. You would have made a great lead singer in the rock band I'm going to start. But it's ok, theres still an opening for lead accordion player.

Keep going strong buddy!

Dawn and Chris,

Thank you for opening your lives to all of us. Your struggle has fueled my devotions and prayer life!

Anonymous said...

Man have I had an encouraging week. Al's preaching on Sunday, I read almost all of 'Do Hard Things' yesterday, and CJ's blog today. CJ, you and your mom have been a great encouragement to me through this whole trial, and you really encourage me to "Lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith" (Heb 12:1-2 ESV)

Joel

Anonymous said...

CJ, Dawn, Chris, and the George family,

You guys are truly amazing!!! Since we heard about your couragious fight with cancer, we've been reading your story daily. CJ and your family are in our prayers every single day. CJ is an awesome child and Dawn, please don't EVER lose trust in the Lord, as He will ALWAYS come through. Chris, please let us know if you need anything, we are still in the neighborhood. Wishing your family well and daily prayer for CJ!!!!

Thinking and praying for you guys,
Jessica and Sergio Alvarez

Anonymous said...

the 1st thing I thought of wa "Onward Christian Soldiers" it is one of my favorite songs. I think you look great with a buzz cut.
We are doing a creation unit study and the kids are goin gto make you a Creation Quilt, it should be fun. You never told me what kind you wanted so now it is up to Faith & billy. I might have to stop them at some point becuse it might get too big ! They get a little carried away. we will need to add a square for soldiers.

We love you and you are always in our thoughts and prayers. Our Pastor asked for prayer requests and before Faith put her hand up he asked her if she wants us to pry for you, she of course said yes. You are on his mind too.

Keep up the good work soldier. Now you and Jason have something in common you are both soldiers, God's soldiers.

Anonymous said...

Hello my dear daughter,
I am glad that the Lord had His hands on CJ again yesterday. After reading the blog I was heart broken to see what CJ and you and Chris had to go through to clear the port and get the CT scan. I am again in awe of the courage and dedication you and CJ have to fight this awful disease.
Every time I read the blog I am reminded of what you wrote at the very beginning in one of your posts before this all started: 'My hope would be that years after I am gone someone would say, "I really don't remember her name but I remember her testimony and what G-d did in her life. And He was amazing!"' I don't think you'll have to worry bout that.
I have been telling you how G-d is working in my life and how I have been drawn nearer to Him. I went to Sabbath service Saturday and I am attending the last night of Succos tonight at Olive Tree congregation. We are presently meeting at a home across from the David Posnack Jewish Community Center in Cooper City.


CJ, Poppa Jerry has written a song just for you and the next time I come over I will play it for you. I love you and pray for you all the time.

See you all real soon, Love DAD

The Barnes Family said...

CJ, what strong words you speak. Through all my struggle I come here for so much strength. I love to pray for you guys and share your story and your website with people and it is amazing to me to hear all that they get from it. Thank you and I am so thankful for you and your family. I was talking to your Aunt Jackie and sharing all this info. with her and she told me that I should tell you guys. That it really does help you to know how you are helping so this is it... I wanted to share with you that Christopher did a report at school on you and your Blog site. He goes to a school here called The Academy of Science and Technology for gifted students. Well in his Tech class they had to first create a wall paper with 7 of the links and icons to places they wanted to share. He has a link to your blog on his. They also had to report on 2 Blog sites and he chose yours to share with everyone. So now this has been passed around the whole 6 th grade and all the teachers at the school, and who knows where God has taken it from there. I also wanted to share that the first grade team at Norton Elementary is also reading your story and they are praying and sharing. Your ripple CJ is I believe truly bigger than any of us can imagine. That is except God and it is just the beginning. I read this to the kids and what an example you are showing them of thinking of others, even when things for yourself are hard. I am praying for you and will make sure I post any updates that I get on new readers! Praying for you always, the Barnes'

The Barnes Family said...

Ohhh...the kids think you are so lucky to have had a mohawk and now you get a buzz cut!!! In honor of you, Christopher has followed suit and we have shaved his hair off too. You are after all brothers in Christ. We love you.

Anonymous said...

C.J
We are always praying for you. Your endurance of painful needles and shots always makes us so amazed!!!! Keep being so brave, you really inspire us, especially when we have doctor appts. coming up next week for shots, we talk about how brave you are at the lunch table and how we can be inspired by your example! We love you friend and love it when you blog, too!
The Schmatjens

grandma colleen said...

Sweet Dawn, I would like to comment on your previous blog about how GOD will never give you more than you can handle. I also can not find it anywhere in the Bible, I'm sure it is a verse that has benn misquoted. I believe that in reality it is more like God will never give you trails in your life that God himself can't handle. He is a big God and we can't be putting him in a box. His ways are a mystery and we don't always understand, but that is why we call it Trust and Faith. Yesterday was another really rough day for C.J., Chris and you, but you got through it without taking your eyes off of our Father, it really is such a huge truth when Jesus told us to not worry about tomorrow, for today has enough of its own troubles. These 6 weeks have taught me alot about how important it is to really focus on doing that, for just getting through the day and not worrying about tomorrow you can look back on the day and see all that God has done for you. Paul tells us in Acts 14:22 IT IS NECESSARY TO PASS THROUGH MANY TROUBLES ON OUR WAY INTO THE KINGDON OF GOD.David wrote in the 23rd Psalm that God is our shepherd we shall not want and that he will lead us in the path of righteousness. Well I don't know of any other way to get there but by trials that cause us to be totaly dependent on Him. God also tells us His Grace Is Sufficent For When We Are Weakest He Is Strong.I love the way you are so honest about your fears and doubts and I believe that for all reading this blog they are humbled by your truths and your great love for the Lord,and your strong Faith. You,Chris and C.J. are an example for all of to follow,your journey in this has not been easy but you have kept your eyes on our Savior You have given him the Glory and he is using your family to reach the unchurched, the unsaved, and ones who have a need for more faith in there lives.I am so blessed to be Chris's mother your Mother-in-Law and C.J., allies, brett and coreys Grandma. Thank you Jesus.I really love what Poppa Jerry wrote, such beautiful truths about you Dawn, and the spirtual growth your Father is going through. I love you Jerry keep praying and listening for that small voice in your heart. It will be GOD. amen amen amen. I love you all GOD is GOOD,GOD IS MERCIFULL,GOD IS TRUSTWORTHY. We will keep hanging on to him everyday, even if some days feel like its just by our fingernails. HEAVENLY FATHER WE PRAISE YOUR NAME "YAHWEH ROPHE(the GOD who heals)FOR ALL YOU HAVE DONE FOR OUR FAMILY AND HOW YOU HAVE BEEN WITH US IN THE MIDST OF OUR SORROWS,AND HOW YOU WILL CONTINUE TO BE THERE FOR US. I PRAY FOR DAWN AND CHRIS AS PARENTS TO HAVE THE STRENGTH THAT COMES FROM YOU, TO HAVE YOUR WISDOM TO HANDLE PROBLEMS WHEN THEY ARISE, AND I PRAY THAT THEY WILL LOVE YOU MORE, AND MORE AND TRUST YOU MORE AND MORE EACH DAY.IPRAY FOR C.J. TO HAVE YOUR MIGHTY STRENGTH OH FATHER, TO HANDLE THE PAIN, LOSS OF HAIR AND ALL THE CHEMO HE MUST GO THROUGH.FATHER I ALSO PRAY THAT YOU SHOWER THIS FAMILY WITH YOUR UNENDING LOVE LET THEM FEEL YOUR PRESENCE, AND FEEL YOUR PEACE. I LOVE YOU LORD, THANK YOU IN THE MIGHTY NAME OF JESUS AMEN

Anonymous said...

Hello, sweet CJ! We have been out of town and have missed your letters! I'm glad to be back reading what is happening with you. You are a remarkable, smart boy and you are handling your situation like a true All-Star! We are so proud of you and your strong,trusting faith.

Your mother and father are so loving in their care for you and I know that helps you during your sad times. Eventually all of this will be just a memory, and you won't remember the really bad parts, and you'll laugh about all the changes you are going through.

I remember when I had to take medicine that made my face puffy...and it also made me so hungry! When my friends would come visit, I would tell them to pull up a chair next to me and the refrigerator, as I looked for the next thing to eat! I know what you're going through!

So, I asked your Grama Paula today what you are craving to eat, and she suggested I ask YOU, so...WHAT ARE YOU CRAVING?

I will make you ANYTHING YOU WANT. Just name it. It can be any kind of cookies, cake, bread, fruit, muffins, salad, cheesecake, jello, pudding, spaghetti, well, you get the idea! Write me back and let me know. Your wish is my command, dear heart. Love, Pam (Grama Paula's neighbor)

Anonymous said...

I never feel more inspired or blessed than when I am reading the updates about this family and sweet little boy with cancer. I pray that you have the time to subscribe to their blog, read the posts, and feel God's presence in all of us.

Rhonda Brackett

GRANDMA COLLEEN said...

C.J. You are such an awesome child, did you know that i feel very blessed to call you Grandson. I love you so much C.J. and it's not just because your my Grandson, it's also because of your heart. Your heart(spirit) is so beautiful, kind, caring and unselfish that you humble me. I can sure tell who lives in your heart buddy, I think it is JESUS. I'm right aren't I heheheheheh. C.J. I want you to know that not only is your insides beautiful but so is your outsides. When ever I see you I'm so struck by your beautiful big brown eyes, big dimples and gorgeous big smile that I don't notice anything else, you are still my C.J.and I would love you with all my heart no matter how you look. Well with that said I hope you have a big bright smile on your face because YOU ARE VERY SPECIAL TO GOD AND TO MANY MANY MANY PEOPLE AND THEY ALL LOVE YOU. LOVE YOU MY LITTLE PEACH PIE. LOVE GRANDMA COLLEEN

Mitch said...

CJ and family,
I finally created a blog account today after much fear about internet privacy issues etc., but felt the need to tell you that I admire your faith and strength. I will be running the Marine Corps Marathon this weekend in your honor with your picture on my run jersey. I found this bible passage during my training and it has been a guiding light for me when I think of you and read your blog:
Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 Two are better than one;because they have a good reward for their labour. For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow:but woe to him that is alone when he falleth;for he hath not another to help him up.

Thank you in advance for being there to lift me up during my run...as any runner can tell you, you NEVER know what race day will hand you no matter how hard you train or prepare...kind of like life. And in comparison, I hope everyone's prayers and efforts will continue to lift you up. You are not alone for God has intended us to help, serve, and love one another as brothers and sisters in Christ.
Mitch

Anonymous said...

CJ,
You truly are a brave young man. I am always in awe when I read your blog. Please continue to be strong in the Lord as you continue in your battle. We miss you and your family very much.
Love,
Mr. Sedano & Family

Anonymous said...

CJ -
I would love to hear the story of Jesus in your words someday! It would really be a pleasure!

You are such a brave boy! You have the right idea, your spirit, personality and true self can never be taken from you! Keep your head up soldier.

We are still praying for you and your family and think of you often!

Much Love,
Melissa Castro

Alexa said...

Hi CJ, Chris and Dawn and All :-)

We are still in Honduras, the weaher has caused all sorts of things to go very different than planned. From lost planes, to lost buses, lost bags, sickness and so on. But we were ever so happy to hear songs to our Lord in the very hotel we were staying at and were able to attend a service there on Sunday. Isn´t God great!

We are hoping to get on the plane tonight. We are Praying for you all. Thank you for your faith and perserverance. It warms my heart to read how you are doing in your faith. I love what you said CJ. "it can´t take away your smile!" and it can´t take away your God :-)

Many hugs to all,
Alexa

Janet S said...

CJ, it's good to see you posting and to see your smiling face. I come in here every day, several times, and read your mom's posts and look at all the pictures. I haven't been posting, but you are always in my prayers and we're all still checking in on you. We loved the poem you and your mom wrote together. By the way, your short hair looks great. It brings out your big brown eyes and wonderful smile.

Dawn, I meant to write after reading your last post about the old cliche that God doesn't give us more than we can handle. As I look back to our own difficult time when Samantha was born with all her different diagnoses, therapies, doctors visits, etc., I know that the only way I made it through that time is because God carried me through it. He gave me strength when I was weak. He gave us wisdom to make the decisions that needed to be made. He brought people in and out of my life and hers as needed. He provided, carried and helped us. So, no, He will not give you more than you can handle. He'll do better than that. He will be your strong tower. He will not forsake you. He will open rivers in desolate heights, and fountains in the midst of the valleys. He will make the wilderness a pool of water, and the dry land springs of water. Isaiah 41:18

Anonymous said...

I don't mind what you look like on the outside CJ, the part about you that I am 100% sure that we all love the best is your HEART. That's the part that the Lord loves the best too! Love, Mary. P.S. Your hair is great, and your smile? Ha! Even better!

Anonymous said...

What a strong young man! How brave you are for encouraging him in the Lord. Our prayers are with you.
Mary Boggs

~Jamie~ said...

CJ
My name is Amber, but most just call me jamie. I know its hard to loose your hair i honestly do but i think that your amazing for taking it so well. I check your blog when ever i sign in to my blog it is the first thing i do. Your such a strong boy and you have a beautiful smile, dont you ever forget that okay.
your story inspired me and i shaved my hair off for Child cancer. I loved my hair and i would carry a hair brush with me absolutly everywhere, but it seemed like the right thing to do i asked my mum to take photos of it being done and i promised your mum i would email them to her as soon as i get them on to my computer.
Your forever in my thoughts adn ill be praying for you.
XOX

Dawn
I have been working hard on the special book for your family i want it to be perfect,. You are all amazing and i wish that you did not have to go through so much.
Your a lovly person dawn and i wont stop preying for you guys. i am bugging my to hurry up with the photos already because i want to send them to you ASAP.

love and light to your whole family
XX amber