I published a new post below but am following it up with this prayer request for CJ tonight. Although we still ask for the prayers we have requested for his physical healing and well being we are asking for prayer for his spiritual well being as well. He is struggling tonight with accepting his illness. This began when he came into my room tonight as I was putting the baby to sleep and asked to talk to me. He said, "Mom, I think I have never accepted that I have cancer but have just been going through it." I asked him what he meant and why he felt this way and he expressed that he just seemed to be doing it and it was like he was watching himself go through it. I talked to him a bit about how difficult it is to accept these sort of things even for mommy and daddy and that we accept it by trusting God with it and leaving it to Him. He seemed okay at first but I pushed further and asked him if he thought it would help to say out loud, "I have cancer". I thought it may get him over the hump but instead this lead him to start a whimpering cry and hyper-sensitivity to touch which then progressed to a defiant reaction to taking his medicine tonight. He has never complained or refused to take it until now and it was challenging emotionally for Chris and I. We had to really enforce it to get him to take it. While refusing to take it he said, "I don't want to be sick", which lead me to respond, "You are sick." This statement released the tears he seemed so desperately in need of shedding. He reluctantly took his pill and we are hoping he is just tired physically and a good night sleep will help. As I put out this request for prayer for his little heart to accept this and to trust in the Lord for strength, I can hear him whimpering and groaning and battling grief in the next room. I pray the Lord will draw near to him tonight even as he sleeps. I pray the Lord will strengthen and encourage him with the right words that I fail to have for him. Tomorrow morning I will take him to the hospital for his spinal tap. Please pray his counts to be up as well as his spirits.
Thank you for your prayers.