"Do you not know? Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." Isaiah 40: 28-31
Although we enter this phase 'consolidated' as a family and stronger for all we have been through from September until now, at times, it seems like we are reading the same book but are all on different pages. CJ seems to be on the chapter that drags on and on and never seems to end. Yet he knows he has to stick with it to get to the next chapter and finish the book to fully understand the story. Chris seems like he is stuck in the concordance, looking up this term and that term and cross referencing topics. I think sometimes he misses the wonder of the story because he is so focused on the details. It is like trying to enjoy a book and edit it at the same time! He points out all the little details I miss as I read my chapter more introspectively and try to stay focused and not miss anything as the story unfolds. There are times I get so concerned with what page everyone else is on that I sometimes forget what page I am on. But mostly I get too focused on trying to see the heart of the Author behind the words on the page that I sometimes miss some of the important details. Allie, well she is the book worm who just stays dedicated to whatever chapter she is on at the time. She reads each chapter faithfully sort of like she reads her Bible. She resists the urge to skip a day, and resists the urge to read ahead. She seems to somehow be on whatever page we are all on even though we are all on different pages. And of course, Brett and Corey can't read yet so we just read the chapters to them as the story unfolds. Even if we are a little scattered all over the pages at least we are all reading the same book. It is a good book, full of twists and turns and exciting characters. There is heartache and drama, excitement and adventure. Confusion and suspense and yet it is full of hope and promise. Oh and did I mention the Author of the story? Wow!
We went in today as planned, gave blood, got his port accessed, prepared for the chemo, but were then sent home when the doctors realized they forgot to order an echo-gram for his heart before beginning this phase. So we are now scheduled for an echo-gram on Wednesday of this week. Please pray that his heart is healthy and that if there is any cause for concern that nothing would be overlooked by those who administer the test and those who read the results. With this adjustment we will begin this phase on Friday instead of today.
CJ struggled a bit this morning as we prepared to leave so I sat and prayed with him before we left. I prayed that God would strengthen him, and see us through the day. I prayed that God would keep our eyes fixed on Him and not ourselves. And then I prayed that God would surprise us today with His presence and care. I asked that we would see His little surprises throughout the day and sense His nearness. That seemed to help CJ and we continued to get ready. But when daddy got up to say goodbye, CJ began to struggle with leaving again. (I think I have to keep those two separated)
Usually, CJ relishes being able to sit in the front seat with me and have me all to himself and we would talk the whole way there. But not this morning! Today, he climbed in the back seat (almost as a protest to having to go) and he did not speak a word to me the whole way there. I began to try and engage him at first and use the wonderful art of distraction I have really learned to perfect over these past few months, but for some reason I sensed the Lord asking me to leave him to Him. So instead I prayed and kept silent. I was willing to talk if he wanted to but unless he engaged me I was going to wait. After a few minutes, I was tempted to put on some worship music to cheer him up but realized he needed more than just worship music. So I put on the Bible on CD and we listened to the book of Hebrews. Have you read Hebrews lately? Wow! That is a rich book! This is just a smattering of what CJ heard today on the way to the hospital....
"Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has gone through the heavens, Jesus the son of God, let us hold firmly to the faith we profess. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are-yet was without sin. Let us approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need." 4:14
"In bringing many sons to glory, it was fitting that God, for whom and through whom everything exists, should make the author of their salvation perfect through suffering." 2:10
"Since the children have flesh and blood, he too shared in their humanity so that by his death he might destroy him who holds the power of death-that is, the devil-and free those who all their lives were held in slavery by their fear of death......because he himself suffered when he was tempted, he is able to help those who are being tempted" 2:14
So I would say that he was visibly less agitated when we got there. The amazing power of God's word to break strongholds, and soothe weary souls did its miraculous work. We stopped to get him a muffin in the lobby and he noticed they had hot chocolate. We never had realized this before all the times we had stopped. So he ordered a cup and when he were waiting for the elevator and he was sipping his hot chocolate, he said, "Mom, do you think this is one of the surprises from God?" I just smiled and said, it very well may be! God completely understands the warmth of a good cup of hot chocolate! Combine that with some scripture and you are set! And as you know from above, CJ did not receive any chemo today. He was deaccessed and allowed to go home. Now that was a surprise! And since I no longer question God's way of answering prayers...we accept it as His gentle reminder that He sympathizes with our weakness. He sensed CJ needing an extra day or two to begin this phase and we thankfully receive it.
Love to you all...the George Family