Friday, June 12, 2009

God Loves You More


This picture was taken on Mothers Day, May 10th. I decided to use this one for this post because I am adding a poem CJ wrote me as a gift for Mothers Day. Looking at it, I can not believe that it was taken only one month ago. His hair has grown in so much since then! (see below post taken on June 7th , just one short month later). Wow, God is amazing! But I must admit, I kind of miss his bald head.

We have some Specific prayer requests for CJ:

We are leaving early in the morning for a short weekend trip to Daytona to see some family that will be there, and hopefully, to see the shuttle launch in Cape Canaveral! Please pray for all to go well for CJ on this trip. I say this because this will be the first time we have left home since he got diagnosed and there is comfort in having Joe DiMaggio Children's Hospital available to us here in Miami where they know his specific needs and concerns if we needed anything and are adequately equipped if the need arose. I am not anxious and am resting in the Lord's hands in this regard but any extra prayers available are more than welcome at this time. Also pray we would remember his medications faithfully even with the distraction and disorientation of being on vacation.

We are also asking for specific prayer for God to reveal to us why CJ is limping to the extent that he is. We have had some X-rays done recently and they were negative for any indicators of why. Unfortunately, we take no real comfort in clear x-rays since CJ had three sets of x-rays taken while his body was riddled with cancer and we were always given the 'all clear'!

Today we were told he would be given an MRI to see if there is some necrosis from the steroids. If there is, it would be best to catch it in its beginning stages. If it is not there, I just pray we will get to the bottom of why he is limping. I want to stress that he is in NO pain and that is throwing the doctors off a little. A limp typically indicates an adjustment being made to avoid pain. There is a slight chance this is a habit formed by muscle memory from when he was in pain before diagnosis. In that case I would assume some simple rehabilitation therapy would fix that right up. However, my 'mommy instinct' does not think this is a habit. Mainly because the limp is more prominent now than before he was diagnosed and even more so than the beginning of treatment. It seemed to really pick up and become more noticeable at about the 4-5 month mark in chemotherapy.

On that note, CJ's reaction to hearing he needed an "MRI" was a very sad and disappointed one. Here is some real "muscle memory"! His brain muscle remembers extensively how difficult and devastating the day of the initial MRI that lead to his diagnosis was for him. ( I have already written extensively about "that day" and will post it in the future for all of you to read.) His association with an MRI or even the suggestion of an MRI causes an immediate reaction in him. Sort of like a person would react if attacked by a dog and then faced with confronting a dog, or a person who had a major accident and then had to climb back in behind the wheel and not expect the same result. I had to explain to CJ why he was reacting this way and he seemed to understand. It was so difficult for me because as tempted as I was, I realized I could not make him any promises about what will or won't happen, what we will or won't find on that MRI, what will or won't be the result of it. I wanted to promise him it would all be okay and it was no big deal. But I learned my lesson about making promises I can not keep. I actually titled the post I wrote about that day....."A Day of Broken Promises" because that is what it turned out to be in so many ways.

That said, please pray for the MRI to reveal what is causing the limp. Please pray for the MRI to go smoothly and for his little heart and mind to not be anxious about it. Please pray I will keep my mouth shut and not make any promises I can not be sure I can keep. This time, I will make him ones I know that I can. Or at least, ones that I know Someone else can! "The LORD is faithful to all his promises and loving toward all he has made." ( Psalm 145:13)

Here is the Mothers Day poem CJ wrote:

God Loves You More
by: CJ George

Once, a boy and his mom were walking.
The mom saw some flowers, sighed and said,
"I love the flowers."
"I like them too," said the boy.
They kept walking.

The boy looked up and said, "I love the sun and the sky.
The sun for its heat to keep me warm in the day,
And the sky for its beauty, in every way"
They kept walking.

It soon got dark. The mom noticed the moon and the stars and said,
"I love the moon and the stars, for their beauty too."
They kept walking.

A bird flew over their heads and the boy said,
"I love the animals."
The kept walking.

They were nearing home now and the mom said,
"Do you know who I love very much?"
"Who?" said the boy.
"You, that's who!" said the mom.

As they stepped on the porch the boy said,
"Mom, do you know who loves you more then the sun and the moon and the stars and the sky? And He even loves you more than I love you."
"Who?" the mom replied.
The boy pointed up and said,
"God, that's who!"

By: CJ George
Dedicated to mom on Mothers Day


12 comments:

Martha Rivero said...

Dear Dawn,

CJ's poem is absolutly beautiful!!!!I will pray for the MRI to reveal what is causing the limp. ALso, I want to wish you to have an awesome and save vacation :)

with love

Martha

Martha

Anonymous said...

Dawn and Chris, We are praying, too! Heather just sent us cell phone pics of you and the kids, along with grandma and grandpa. It was absolutely terrific to see you all on the beach - you look like you're having so much fun! I pray it's a weekend of blessing and relaxation and fun times with your family! We love you and wish we could have been there! Love, aunt Karen

Enzo said...

Dawn,

What a poem. How lucky you are to have received it.

I am so happy that the Georges left town this weekend for a little family time and with enough trust in their abilities to administer medicines and be secure enough to leave the "Joe DiMaggio" area. When I heard the breaking news this morning that the shuttle was scrapped at first I felt bad because I knew you were going to take CJ to see it and then my immediate next thought was my thought that one of the best things God does for us is to keep us from knowing what will happen in the future. Because as the changes occur and we realize our plans don't always take place for one reason or another we can trust that "My times are in Your Hand" Psalm 31:14-15 and he will put us where we should be.

I have been praying about CJ's limp and have noticed it more in the last month or so. Your Mommy Instinct is probably a nudge from above to tell you to keep searching. I am looking forward to CJ having an MRI yet I have a heavy heart knowing the distress he is under thinking about it. I know that you will rest easier when you know exactly what is behind it.

I also had 3 elbow surgeries and before each one an xray didn't show a problem and finally before the 3rd an MRI was done and clearly showed an entrapped nerve.

I think of CJ like Paul with the afflictions he had. I know how young CJ is and I don't want more than anything to see him with any long lasting side effects from this disease but I know that God magnifies His name when we are weak in some way. We don't have to be beautiful or strong or speak eloquently. He honors our faith and all He wants is for us to trust Him. Dawn, I think of you because you are trusting Him through watching your beloved son suffer and you know if you keep standing before Him in faith and integrity you and CJ will win the battle.
He who waks in integrity walks securely. Proverbs 10:9. Surely this is the walk (or the gait) that counts the most.

Dawn, I believe a mother sometimes suffers the most pain. You are learning that the goal is not to get away from it but to endure through it, triumph over it in name of God, while learning all the lessons that God is teaching you.
My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart.
Psalm 73:26.
If you didn't have your attitude of hope and gratitude you would be drowning right now so I know you are being blessed because of your faith and your hope.

Mom

Anonymous said...

Paula, you are really something! You are a terrific Mom and a great grandmother to the children. What a wonderful woman you hve become.
G-d bless you.

Anonymous said...

Dear Dawn,

What a priceless gift to receive. The poem is absolutely beautiful. Thank you for sharing it! We are praying for a "good" MRI. Also wishing you a fun weekend.

Lots of love

Nicole Ana Alberto

mefea said...

I LOVE CJ's poems. What a great Mother's Day Gift!

We'll def keep you guys in our prayers for the upcoming MRI and for the Lord to clearly lead the doctors in finding out the specifics of this limp.

Thanks for the continuing updates which help us to know how to pray.

~Melinda p

Anonymous said...

loved this poem.
keep on writing C.j! :)

Andrea~

David Bush said...

Great poem CJ!

It's too bad we didn't get to see the shuttle this weekend, but I hope you guys had fun in Datona! Sww you this weekend!

Anonymous said...

Awwwww....that poem is adorable.

Susy Brito

Amy Derrickson said...

CJ, you are an amazing writer just like your mom! God has blessed you both with wonderful gifts; not only writing, but also inspiring others. I hope you had a great time on your vacation. I love you guys and pray for you often.
Amy

Anonymous said...

Dawn,

I did not get a chance to reply to you last post. It was absoulutely the sweetest most precious thing to read your letters to your children. Thank you for sharing that with all of us.

I will pray for your specific requests. I talked to you today and it sounds like your weekend is going very well so far.

I was so blessed and thankful when I got to hear the poetry that CJ wrote for you on your birthday. Thanks for sharing mother's day. He is an amazing poet.

Love,

Jacks

See you real soon I hope! I got Travy!

Anonymous said...

What a beautiful poem and precious Mother's Day gift. Thanks again for keeping us updated on how to pray for you guys specifically. Much love!!!

The Gonzalez Gang
Marcos, Becky, Gabriel, Amanda and Sophia