Friday, October 16, 2009

Desperate for Prayer

Please pray fervently for CJ and our family! We are in a whirlwind of confusion and grief.

CJ's poppa Jerry (my father) was found dead this week in his home in a tragic and unexpected death.

We were very concerned because my dad was not answering calls all day Tuesday. By Wednesday morning we headed to his home in Davie to see what was wrong. My husband and my sister's husband are the ones who found him. Although they are both policemen, they said nothing could have prepared them for what they found and what they felt upon finding their father in law like this. Unfortunately, my sister and I and our children were all waiting outside at the time and could not be shielded from the tragedy of the situation.

Our family is struggling to accept and deal with this devastating news. We are grieving sorely and deeply and yet we are clinging with all our might to our faith and hope in the resurrection. Even in our sorrow, we are deeply grateful that my father was a believer in the Messiah as his Savior and only hope. Our only comfort in this tragedy is that we are certain that he is resting peacefully in the presence of Jesus Christ our Lord. Unfortunately, the pain and confusion he left behind is overwhelming beyond belief for all of us. It felt like a bomb dropped on our world and we have been on our hands and knees trying our best to pick up the shattered pieces.

Today my children felt they needed to see their Poppa's home one last time. I took them there to see if it would help them in their grieving. CJ sat and wrote him a picture that said, "Poppa Jerry, we will be together again," and laid it on his Poppa's favorite chair. My daughter sat and stared confused and heartbroken, cherishing every little piece of her Poppa still there, whether it was in his sheet music, his poetry, his drawings, or his pictures. Brett hugged me tight, too young to fully grasp anything except that his Poppa is gone and in heaven. I sat in the floor in the spot my father died and I grieved for all my children lost in this tragedy. I stared at the stains that will never be able to be removed from the tile and realized this tragedy has stained my heart in a way that will never be removed as well. I just don't know how you move forward and yet somehow I got up and we left the home to head to the funeral home to drop off my father's clothes.

As we were grieving together in the car, another bomb fell unexpectedly. CJ had blood counts done earlier this morning and I received a call that his ANC (the important number in his blood counts) came back extremely low. In fact, they are lower than they have ever been. He is at an extremely high risk for infection which can be very dangerous for him. I thought it must be a mistake. We are in a state of double shock and wondering what God is trying to do and why He is allowing us to be stretched to this extreme. CJ took the news very hard and started crying and asking God "why, why, why, now?" He will only be able to attend his grandpa's funeral in a mask and none of us can understand why? He needs the comfort and presence of his friends as we all do at this time.

As we have been planning the funeral these past couple of days and family and friends have come to our home to support us, we realize we have already exposed CJ at a high level. We are torn as we desperately need to be with our loved ones at this time and work through this grieving process and yet we have to protect our child's life faithfully.

Stunned from the additional news to an already overwhelming situation, I came home immediately and scrambled to disinfect and clean the house . I was feeling an awful sense of urgency. I remember feeling disoriented that I was scrubbing toilets just a few short hours after desperately trying to get through the process of writing my fathers obituary and sitting in the spot he died.

As a result of CJ's blood counts, the doctor ordered us to immediately stop all of CJ's chemo and watch him closely for fever upon which we would have to head to the hospital immediately. I can not even imagine sitting in a hospital room right now. It is hard enough being separated from our extended family and friends during this time at home. Please pray that we will make the right decisions for him at this time while walking through the process of my father's death. Please pray, pray, pray that CJ will be free from infection and God will supernaturally protect him. Please pray we will be able to get him back on his protocol and up to his accurate dosing. He was already down to a 50% dosage level due to low blood counts. This is just all so unbelievable.

I love you and miss you desperately. I pray and trust you are in perfect peace and rest in the presence of our Lord. God, help me cling to that truth and rest in the hope of heaven and in Jesus' finished work on the cross as we try to work through our confusion and grief. Dad, I am so thankful for your life, your words, your wisdom, your wit. You have blessed my life in so many ways. I miss you terribly. I will do everything in my power so that your death will not be in vain.
Oh God help us please. Send your spirit tenfold into our lives.
Your daughter and your daughter,


Funeral Arrangements for Poppa Jerry are this Sunday October 17th beginning with a family reception and viewing at 2pm at the Vista Memorial in Miami Lakes, Florida 14200 NW 57 Avenue. Service will begin at 4pm. The internment will be the following morning, Monday October 18th, at 11am at the same location with a reception immediately following at the home of Colleen and John George 8121 NW 186 Terrace Miami, Fl 33015.

Please note: As a result of this tragedy some upcoming events for CBC (Children Battling Cancer) have had to be canceled or postponed. Please see the website for updates


Kiki said...

I know you don't know our family but we have been following your blog faithfully (we are friends of the Abeggs, Fernandez/Pino's, Quiros and other Palm Vista families). Our family will be praying fervently for yours as you go through this tragedy and especially for CJ's health.

The Bacaro's

goodthoughts said...

Dawn, I'm so sorry that your family has lost your dear "Poppa Jerry". We're praying for God's presence and comfort and strength as you deal with all the emotions and confusion. We pray that God will bring CJ's blood count back to where it needs to be and that you will all be able to be with your family and friends.
Love to each of you,

Jenn said...

I am so sorry to hear of this. I feel the pain as my father and cousin died in a similar way.
Please know that my heart aches and prays for you now. There are no answers except the knowledge of the unrelenting love of God.
We love you and pray for you now more than ever. Hold on. I know hope seems to be gone, but He never leaves us. I pray that His presence will be known for the family in a mighty way.


Anonymous said...

My friend,

My heart breaks as I have prayed and wept for you and your whole family. May the Lord comfort you in ways that human words can not. I pray that the Lord provide much grace and strength for the days, weeks and months ahead as you all walk through this difficult journey...I also pray for healing for CJ, specifically in the area of his blood count. All we can cling to at times like these is God's truth, the truth we find in His Word. He is faithful, He is good, and He will never stretch us beyond what we can handle. May the peace that surpasses ALL understanding fill you all, as we continue to pray without ceasing.

We love you, and stand with you in prayer,

for the Gonzalez Family

Derek Murrell said...


Amy and I are anguished to hear about the recent events. We are continuing to pray for you and your family. I know much of this brings about questions of uncertainty, but we stand amazed as we see the unmeasured strength God has given to you and your family ever since the first news concerning CJ. Thank you for your example in the midst of a storm.

Love you guys,

Derek & Amy

Grace said...

I found your wonderful family through SpiritJump. I am grieving with you over Granddad. Praying too that CJ's counts get higher and infection stays at bay. God Bless you All. BTW... I tweeted about this tradegy too (graceslick91)

Anonymous said...

Crying out to God for you and your family..."In the day when I cried out, You answered me, And made me bold with strength in my soul...vs.7 though I walk in the midst of trouble, You will revive me...The Lord will perfect that which concerns me, Your MERCY O Lord, endures forever...
Psalm 138:3,7,8
Love you lots, sister!
Chris Tarasiuk

Anonymous said...

At this time, words cannot be said that will cover our feelings and love that we feel for your family. Know that we know Who holds it together and He wants us to put our Trust in Him. We don't know Why? but we do know Who does. And He is able to keep us in the Palm of His Hand. Rest there as He gives you His Peace, His strength to get "through" the next few days. Be assured there are thousands of people praying and petitioning God on your behalf. God put His gentle arm around CJ and protect him especially at this time as his heart grieves. God touch your whole family and let you gain strength from the memories of Poppa and rest in the fact that he is not lost, you know where he is. And we WILL be reunited. We look forward to that.
Love and Prayers,
Mary and family

Anonymous said...

Praying for you and trusting in the LORD with all our might!

"Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen."
Ephesians 3:20-21

With love from the Medina family

Anonymous said...

My heart and prayers go out to you my friend. I am praying for God's comfort and peace to come to you and your family as you walk through this difficult time. We love you and cover you with our prayers.


Anonymous said...

So sorry to hear the very sad news about your father (and the added stress of the blood counts). Our thoughts and prayers are with you all and the extended family. May the Lord bring comfort in this difficult time.
With love, the Grays

Sonia said...

Dear Dawn, Jackey, Tammy and family. I feel so sorry you have to go through this lost, in this moment. We will be parying for you a for your Dad. CJ needs confort, and maybe his blod counts came down because hi is very sad right now. But hopfully he will be good. You faith is your strength.
Sonia, Antonio, Andrea and Alejandra.

Anonymous said...

I feel such a huge hole in my heart as your family is going through this very painful time. Getting to know you all this past year has been such a joy for me. When I recently met your father, "Poppa Jerry" at dinner, I admired the closeness that your family shared. I only knew him for that one dinner and a big hug as we all said good-bye, but I could tell he was a sweet man. I am certain he is in heaven at peace and I am certain that you are a strong family that can make it through this tragedy. Just hold on tight and remember the Lord loves you. My family will continue to pray for you and CJ's counts.
God Bless you all,

Kristi Huddleston and Family

Anonymous said...

Please know I am praying for you and your family. Thank you for sharing your heart and allowing me (and others) to boldly approach God's thrown of grace on your behalf. Please see my e-mail in case there is any info there that may help.

Much love in Christ,

Delfi Seeger

Anonymous said...

I love you dad. Thank you for the restoration of our family,the hugs, the company, the friendship, the trust, the memories, the kind affirmations. I will miss you tremendously and am very sad and confused right now. But, I love you and I love Our Lord. I am very grateful that you gave and received forgiveness as our Lord Jesus Christ died for us to be able to do so. I have no doubt that you are with God pulling strings on CJ's behalf. I know you will plead for him on our behalf for his full healing as we will do in prayer from here. Kevin will miss you tremendously. He will miss playing the wii with you, readig to you, getting tickled by you, watching coins come out of your ear, playing uno with you. I love you dad.




Your baby girl, Jacks

Amy Derrickson said...

Dawn, My heart again is breaking for you. No words come to mind; only know I am praying for you and your family and grieving for I man I did not know.
Lamentations 3:19-27 & 31-33

Anonymous said...

I am praying for you Dawn,for CJ, and your whole family.

Resie Manahan

Noel said...

I am so sorry to hear of your unexpected loss. Please know that your family is continually in our prayers.
Love and Peace in Christ,

Anonymous said...

Oh dear ones! We will continue to pray specifically and fervently! We send so much more than words your way....and we are grateful knowing that though you pass through the valley of the shadow of death... HE IS WITH YOU! Love and prayers! Mattie and Hugh

Unknown said...

Chris, Dawn, CJ, Allie, Brett, & Corey,

My prayers are with you all and ALL your extended family during this confusing and difficult time. It's strange to feel so much like family; even though I didn't actually grow up with you as a sister or daughter, I grieve as one who has lost a family member. Thank you for HONORING your father with a BEAUTIFUL memorial yesterday, it was a blessing to be a part.

CJ, you did a great job of protecting yourself during the funeral by staying away and at times wearing your mask. I know this is not a burden you have asked to carry but God knows you better than you know yourself and He's using this in your life to make you more like His son! Stay strong. Trust the Lord and know that your aunt Mindy is praying for you.

With all my love, prayers, and tears,
Melinda p

Anonymous said...

Dear Dawn,
My heart prayers and mind are with you at this very challenging time. I know that there are and will be many questions that may not have clear answers. But I also know, that your rock and your strength comes from God. Hold on to such hope it will shield your soul and heart and mind.
Your friend,

Unknown said...

Dawn, Tammi, Jackie, Chris, Harold, Alibrandi, CJ, Brett, Corey, Travis, Kevin, Kyle, Jerri-Lyn,

Who would have thought this possible one week ago? We are so naive as to events that will transpire, as to last hugs we will have, last laughs, last tears.

Two weeks ago Jackie told me Dad cooked over and messed up the entire kitchen. I told her these would be treasured moments...

Last Sunday, one day before you lost your Dad he told CJ he had "a million more of these birthday parties to go to"

Last Sunday he was happy, joking, handing out coins, reveling in the beauty surrounding him of his daughters and grandchildren and the Lord's peace in him.

I don't have the words to comfort any of you. I don't have the answers for any of you. I do know for sure that he wouldn't have hurt you, any of you intentionally, that his momentary lapse in judgment did this. Never his intentions. He was so sorry that he dropped a pill at Jackie's house the day before, he said he couldn't live with himself if he hurt any of his grandchildren and then this. So we have to forget the "this" and remember his heart, his love, his joy.

I am convinced that one of the reasons CJ's illness was allowed to happen at this time was to restore your Dad's faith in Jesus. He watched you Dawn and Chris. He told me the first day in the parking lot at Joe DiMaggio that he doubted the "Christianity would hold". You showed him, God showed him through you and then grabbed hold of him. As He grabbed hold of him he found the Olive Tree Congregation, he found the closeness with all 3 daughters, he healed, you healed and God healed all of you and his heart was full of the Lord. I don't know if CJ can grasp this or if you accept this but I believe this was part of God's plan for your Dad.

I am amazed at how many friends he had that showed up to pay their respects, at how many friends all 3of you have that showed up for each of you. My great prayer right now is that all 3 of you can be there for each other and if disagreements come up that you work them out as quickly as possible.

I'm sure Dad is in heaven and giving all the angels a chuckle one way or another. He will intercede as much as he can for you girls and be watching over you. You'll feel the breeze that shouldn't be there, smell the cologne when no one is around, hear the music that you know he wants you to hear, feel the big arms around you. I'm sure of it.

I love you.......Mom

The Fillingim's said...

Our tears and every cry we have is in the LORD's hands. We mourn with you,though I do not comprehend what he is doing within your family, I know HE IS FAITHFUL!

Erin, your librarian said...

Hi Dawn,

I was totally shocked to hear the news last week. I've just been thinking about what a loving guy Jerry was and will cherish my last memory of him laughing and looking proud at my wedding. It was so good to have him there.

I'm thinking about the family and want you to know that I check in on your blog from time to time to see how everything is going.

I know Jerry is up in heaven, hanging out with Grandma Jean, and watching out for all of us.

Love to Jackie, Tammy, and families,

Erin (Doyle) Arnold

Wendy Whitlow said...

Dawn I'm going to talk to you later this week and I am going to be at Jackie's tomorrow. I'm sickened that I hadn't seen your post. But I'm grateful to God and you for contacting me today. I spoke with Harold this evening and I just emailed Debbie thinking she would want to know...only to see that she does.
My friend and sister in Christ God can only offer the peace that surpasses all understanding. I'm praying that you feel that peace. I am praying for CJ as well.
Love with you soon. Anything...I mean anything...I'm there for you.

Martha Rivero said...

Dear Dawn,

I am so sorry for your loss, I have no words.... and my heart is aching for you and your family. I want to apologized; I sent you an email on Friday with some insignificant prayer request not knowing what you were going through.

I cannot understand your pain, because I haven’t gone through it yet. Especially this morning I were my knees praying for CJ healing without knowing anything, but something told me to pray and pray for him, and I did. Dawn my heart and prayers go out to you and your family. I will pray in my knees and with my arms up to heavens for you and your family to be comfort. Please be strong, and believe that you will see your father again, that’s a promise, that’s our hope, so we don’t grieve like others grieve, but we grieve with hope in our hearts.

With much love,

Martha Rivero

Unknown said...

Dearest George Family,

My heart is broken for you over the loss of "Poppa Jerry." I am praying that God will give you all His peace that surpasses our feeble understanding. Prayers are continually going up in this home for CJ to be completely healed for the glory of God. We are specifically praying that God will bring those counts to where they need to be so you may have your family and friends near you at this time.

We love you all,
The Helton Family

Anonymous said...

George Family,
You all are in our prayers.

The Rodriguez Family (Omar & Nancy)

Anonymous said...

Dear Dawn and family,

We are all so sorry for your loss and have no words ... Your strength is in your faith and in your family. We are praying for all of you and esxpecially for CJ. May his counts come up quickly.

You are all in our hearts and prayers,

Love, Nicole Alberto and Ana

Lonny Unverzagt said...

Dawn, I am very sorry for your loss and that your family has to go through this tragedy. Sonya , Levi, and I pray for your Family everynight together . Your Family is always on our minds.